Ropes
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What are you thankful for?
That’s a question many of us are likely to hear in the next few days as we gather together to celebrate thanksgiving. And there are so many things to be thankful for! Some of us may have finally been hired to a new job after seemingly endless days of job hunting. Some of us may have gotten a positive diagnosis from a doctor when we were expecting more bad news. Some of us may have gotten married, or had a baby, or adopted a kid. Maybe for you it’s something simple, like a roof over your head, or the presence of a loved one. What are you thankful for?
The story I like to call “The Parable of the Rope” (shown in the video above) is adapted from a story about a conversation a Sufi master had with his disciple—a conversation depicted in Belden C. Lane’s book called Backpacking with the Saints: Wilderness Hiking as Spiritual Practice. One of the many things I am thankful for is that I was able to read this story, because it helped me become aware of something else that I should be thankful for—something I have never been thankful for before. I am thankful for my own brokenness. For my mess ups. For my failures.
“The Parable of the Rope,” notes that each person's rope, the rope that connects them to God, is the same length. Each person has their own rope, but in a way it is the same rope as everybody else’s. I don’t think that means we are the same as the people around us, or even that we all have the same relationship with God. I believe it’s the same rope because God loves each one of us with the same immeasurable, endless, undefinable love. We can’t compare our ropes, and we can’t measure our ropes because there is no more and no less in endless love. It’s endless. Here’s the thing about love that many of us either look down upon or choose to ignore: we can love someone even if they never love us back. This is an unselfish love, a love that doesn’t expect anything in return. It’s a love that defies the social and societal norms. It’s a love that Jesus showed time and time again, even to the point of forgiving those who crucified him as he died on that cross. I am thankful that God loves me with an unselfish love, even as I struggle to love others.
We can, however, cut our rope. In fact, we do this quite often (or at least I do). Every time we sin, every time we turn away from God, we make the choice to cut our rope. We break some part of our relationship with God. We do this in our other relationships too. Sometimes, whether intentionally or not, we hurt or take advantage of someone who loves us, damaging that relationship in some way. They can choose to forgive us, but if we keep doing the same thing, nothing really has changed. The relationship is still broken. But when we recognize the damage we have done, when we see our own brokenness, when we are truly sorry for the damage done, that relationship becomes stronger than ever. Likewise, when we turn back to God in true repentance, God will heal our relationship and make it stronger than ever. God will tie each of our ropes back together. I am thankful that God ties strong knots, knots that are hard to cut through.
Relationships are hard. We mess up and have fights, because that’s what can happen when we let someone in to see our true selves. The closer you invite someone in, the more potential they have to hurt you. That’s the paradox of relationship. And if you are in a relationship where everything is always good and you haven’t been hurt in any way, chances are you haven’t let them in close enough. God expects us to be real in our relationship with God. God expects us to be honest. I think God understands that we are going to cut the rope, and we will probably cut it quite often. But every time a rope is cut and tied back together, the rope gets a little bit shorter. Through God’s grace and forgiveness, our rope can be tied back together bringing us closer and closer to God. I am thankful for God’s grace through my own brokenness.
In her book called Short Stories by Jesus: The Enigmatic Parables of a Controversial Rabbi, Amy-Jill Levine writes that any good parable should both challenge us, as well as result in some sort of question. So what questions might this parable spark for you? How does it challenge you? I know for me it came with the challenge to look at my own brokenness, my fears, my failures, my sense of not being enough, and simply smile and say “I am thankful.”
